Not gonna....?

12^th June 2011

Well, oh well, turned out I wasn’t going to break up with him!

Life is just too surprising sometimes…

Anyway, I am quite happy that I did not break up with him… yet. I know I can’t let him go yet. I have to get things in check though. I need to save money, and that means LESS or NO trips to the Internet Café. But… I have to keep my relationship in check, too.

I don’t want him to get mad at me… but at the same time I can’t be ‘there’ for him every day. I guess I just have to talk things through with him. I don’t know… somehow I was relieved that I am still his girlfriend, but at the same time, it just… I don’t know. It sucks, I guess, because I feel OBLIGED to do this and that just FOR HIM. Tell me, is it worth it?

I want to take a break from all these things but how can I? I mean, not with him around. I love him, alright. I think I do.

Anyway, it’s going to hurt when everything ends… it’s going to hurt so much I might want to… to… to… scream and run and… and… and not think about anything at all(I am trying not to exaggerate here…).