THE END

16^th June 2011

I broke up with him.

It was my decision to end things with him because I was tired of all of this. I was tired of waiting for him when it seems like he’d never come back. I was tired of loving him when he would never love me… or so it seemed.

After the fight we had, he somehow… changed. No more love wall posts, no more talking about me on his status. I know that these reasons are really stupid, but these little things hurt.

I promised myself that I wouldn’t end things with him this time around, but I did anyway. I didn’t think I can wait anymore. I was tired of waiting, hoping for something that would never happen. I wasn’t really planning to break up with him, even though that thought had been nagging my mind for some times. It was just… something I did on the spot.

I gave it some thought and figured that if I would be kept waiting in the dark, and that we didn’t really know each other, and it’s a fact that we wouldn’t last, so why waste the precious time? I should let him go so he can find someone better than me, someone that can love him in a way I never could. I couldn’t help but ask myself… ‘What have I done?’, ‘Did I really break up with him?’ and that kind of questions. I didn’t care anymore, and I don’t think the world cares, so why not get on with it?

I did like him but everything I did felt more like obligations than tasks that I would do because I love him. I felt trapped. I felt lonely… like I was single. I thought, ‘If I feel like I’m single, then why don’t I get on with it and be single for real?’ Then it wouldn’t hurt for me to do anything a girlfriend just can’t do.

I walked around just to come full circle, right at the beginning. Now that I’ve let him go sincerely, I feel calm… happy, almost. It didn’t hurt like I thought it would, but maybe that was because the love is gone. It doesn’t matter; a love from him can be replaced with many other. There are other fishes in the sea that would suit me best. It amazes me how happy, and calm… and free I feel. I don’t have to think of him anymore.

I thank him for the memories, and everything he had said to make me happy. I thank him for everything he did.

It’s not you, Min Jun. It’s just me. It’s not what you did but what you didn’t do. It wasn’t your fault that everything has to end this way. I’m sorry that our love story has to end this way. I want you to know that I’ve never lied about my love for you, not even once. I loved you for real. I’m sorry for hurting you but I am hurting, too. Thank you so much for the memories. Live happily, Min Jun. You deserve happiness. You belong together with Hwae Ji and maybe that’s one of the reasons why we can never last. We’re just not made for each other.

Love, Kim Ji Young

Don’t cry because it’s over; smile because it happened.

Bye bye Min Jun.

I love you.