Life...ever wonder what that is?Well,I can't really say either...I am only God's creature and He knows it all...I am still young and there are more to life that I haven't experienced yet but lots of things have happened to me in these past few years.When I was 9,my mother passed away and I never grew up with a real father by my side.I do have a father,but to be honest,his existence doesn't make even the slightest change in my life.
I do love my mother so much and it came as a shock to me when she passed away.I didn't know that what you called as a 'frozen blood' in the head can be so dangerous.My mother was in a bad condition after the accident which caused her death.Even if she lived,maybe she'd be crippled but I love her nonetheless.
I hope I don't have to use the past tense when I'm talking or writing about Mom but that's the truth I have to accept.She's no longer here but she'll always be in my heart.Forever.
Anyway,I'm in the hospital accompanying my cousin sister who had an operation on 1st December.The hospital has a nice view of Kuala Lumpur with KLCC and KL Tower all light up.I'm meeting my Dad tomorrow and I don't know why the thought of meeting him makes my stomach churned...Maybe it is the separation that caused this.
To be honest,I don't know what to do when I see him.Should I assist him?Or should I yell at him or worse,should I punch him in the face?I hate him...sort of.
You see,he has never been a good father,let alone ever being a father to me.He's never there when I need him.He hurts my mom and me for a good long time and now he wants to take away what rightfully belongs to my mom and me and the hell I'm going to let that happen!
Maybe he can get away now,but when I am 18 I'll take everything away(things that belong to my mom and me) and left him penniless...now,that should teach him some lesson.to some people,it may sounds mean...really mean but what about the things he did to us?Sure,I am very thankful to him because without him,I wouldn't be here.Yeah,sure,he's old and has repent but can that give me the years that my mom and me live without him-without a husband and a father?I'm not just talking about his presence in our life,but he did absolutely nothing to help my mom whether it's financially or not.If he can't help me now since he's old and he had helped me when he was young...well,maybe I can forgive him but he did absolutely nothing since I was conceived.Cain i easily forgive him?
Allah,forgive me for ranting on and on and forgive me for saying all this but You know and understand me...
Thank you Allah!
banyek2 la barsabar sya....aku sentiasa ade untuk ko.....ok~~~!!!!
ReplyDeletehaha...thanks you dear friend.I appreciate that so so so much!
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ReplyDelete=D!!!!!!
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